Me, December 2021 - "I think I can describe this blog post as the starting of a kind of spiritual ‘individual ego death’; letting go of the self to momentary die whilst still alive. A kind of cathartic process that can bring about transformation and a sense of balance and recalibration into my life, informing what happens in my future. I also find my priorities and interests are changing. Like less consumerism and more about people and quality of time I have with them, the spiritual side and gratitude. I've everything to look forward to and it's all part of a greater mystical journey leading or redirecting me to further hidden passions. However, I’ll keep on willing to learn and be teachable. My journey and growth continues..."
Peter made a good comment that when we are making our drums we are birthing an entity, and therefore we should look after it like a person. I recall saying I feel I have a got/making a friend in my drum. We then got to the real work on making our drums. For the north part of my drum, I set a particular white taint in the skin to remind me that was the north, but we later identified this via the central lacing. The white taint reminded me of a half moon or an ice cap at the arctic circle. However as the skin later started the settle/dry it looked like a full moon - which was a special touch given the current Buck Moon. The animal skins of others' had some animal and human figures within them - really captivating skin designs.
As we progressed on the lacing of our drums, which I graciously received lots of one to one support on. There is always the risky potential of a hole split to occur. Of which mine did and I had to start my lacing all over again, which is fine and there is a remedy in place for such things. I was reminded to breathe, especially as there was some minor stress involved. It was a true collaboration on my drum. I needed lots of hand holding, as again, this is practical skills outside of my experience and comfort zone. I've not got the basic textiles or embroidery skills, well since school with my shark oven mit-come puppet ha. So I really appreciated the support on the hard work that has gone into it. I am clearly helpless but growing in confidence in such things each time I do something like this. On reflection, I do feel I should have asked more of what I could do myself when crafting my drum. And while I was waiting I didn't ask others if they needed help as much as I could have. But I did ask later on. I just felt a bit pathetically helpless at times. I could have also been less careless with my lacing, which I jokingly remarked as 'tagliatelle' due to its slimey texture - I think it was due to the fatty skin, perhaps abundance within the stag?! The lacing looks as it should but I was unsure of the process, but I know what to expect and do differently next time. So I am really grateful for Detzi and Peter’s support and putting their energies into the creation of my drum. As well as the physical support I received I now think this was symbolic energy from both Detzi and Peter, showing support and encouragement at the start of whatever my journey becomes with ym drum. Thinking and feeling that really uplifts me. A message for the day that Detzi said, or for me at least, is "We don’t get through life on our own".
We ended the day by laying on the grass with our drums on our heart centres. We closed our eyes while Peter and Detzi rattled and drummed around us all. Taking us on a brief journey. We were invited to what Peter said at the start of the day; imagine being in a valley with a stream, sitting under a favourite or distinctive tree, and be present and aware and maybe a visit by an animal. This offers a kind of 'portal' to start a journey. Breathing in the light; sun and moon, and breathing out negativity. I definitely went somewhere in this brief journey as it was a struggle to become present with myself afterwards. We were then invited to optionally share any visions, thoughts and feelings we had through Detzi's talking stick. I felt quietly emotional of the change in person I am becoming. I felt it as I was making my drum earlier in the day as I do feel a new journey has started in some form. But by the end of the day it just felt more profound. As Detzi once said at another event, words to that effect; things keep circling back round to us if they are meant for us, and immersing in spirituality/nature does for me, but it is here permanently now. Peter closed with saying we could ask him anything. Which I would have many questions but I would first need to digest all the learning and events of the day.
Whilst we were sat there, Detzi noticed a baby grasshopper which was vividly bright green. I remarked a little experience that I had not seen one for years and saw one in my garden recently and it jumped on my leg. So I said it might mean a leap into the unknown, only going forwards, having trust we are guided. Maybe there's something in that where this is now a permanent part of my life and I won't go back to older ways.
Reflecting on my educator values, I'll continue to be curious and try and experience things aligned to my own path, and use future events and workshops to strengthen my knowledge and skills. I can be self-taught, as I have mostly throughout my professional education, and use my educator abilities to create a structure that works for me, and also using each session as a reflective experience to learn, practise, apply and identify improvements/changes I need to make. But I guess getting out in nature as much as possible with my drum is key. Building a bond between us and the relationships I hope to make with the unseen. Actually, on 18th July, Detzi hosted and facilitated my 40th mini retreat, at the end she gave me a birthday card that included the line "meaningful relationships". I was unsure at the time what that meant. I initially thought it was with other like-minded people. But it could well be the about the relationships I could establish and develop with the unseen. I'll aim to not have expectations and just drum. See what arrives. But I recall Peter saying the words to the effect of "Before I talk I need to listen."
We were advised to oil our animal skins, olive oil is fine, on the anniversary of our drum's birth. Once the skin had fully dried and settled after a week, we were encouraged to wake up our drums slowly, like you would a person. Rubbing it gently with a hand to warm it up can help and ensure a good sound. Though sometimes they might sound flat like we can all do from time to time. Plus all drums sound different due to thickness of each unique skin. We were also encouraged to get to know our drums like a person and drum for about 15-30 minutes a day or at a time.
I'll definitely do this birthing workshop again. I'm sure another drum would be welcome in the distant future. I hope that I have found some future drumming friends too!
I later purchased a lovely green drum case from Heron Drums to keep my drum safe and protected.
On the night of the 18th, I drifted to sleep asking in my head asking for signs or advice to come. The day after, I was thinking what do I do next and do I use my drum for this. I took to GenAI and asked some advice on connecting with spirit guides and received the following:
Me - "I have been doing lots of shamanic themed workshops since January 2025. And now going to be making my own shamanic drum in the next workshop. I now feel I want to connect more deeply with spirit guides to help guide me on my next steps. If that is the next natural step? If so, how can I do this?"
Whether connecting more deeply with spirit guides is the "next natural step" depends on your goals. If what you're really seeking is wisdom, direction, and a deeper sense of relationship with the unseen (however you understand it), then yes—it could be a meaningful direction. If you're feeling pressured because it seems like what you're "supposed" to do next, then it might be worth slowing down and asking what genuinely draws you.
Many shamanic traditions approach spirit guides less as something to "achieve" and more as relationships that unfold over time..."
Then it gave me practical advice on some ways practitioners often cultivate that relationship.
I then searched on visualising for shamanic drumming and received similar practical guidance. This is where I think my Labradorite crystals can help me with visualisation. My Labradorite crystals came from my interest in a 'dream stone' during a crystal grid workshop I attended in November 2025, and then Detzi offered me a larger one which I purchased.
I later asked Peter in our group chat - "I've been doing some AI asking about developing a regular journeying practice and awakening my drum. But I prefer to learn from real practitioners. Any further wisdom or tips on those? I know you said a key thing about learning to listen."
Peter - "There are many ways to journey, some people find it easy others struggle. Practice visualisation before your drum is ready. If you have vision of a place you feel comfortable in work on it, expand and embellish it. Spend time there and immerse yourself in feeling of comfort. Return there as often as possible until it becomes almost automatic. I hope you find this useful. Peter"
After my drum had dried for a week, on 1st August 2026 it was time to awaken it. I wanted to make a formal process to it so I searched on a structure and followed that. It was quite the day. I did a bit of earthing and self-reiki for a bit of much needed calm and rebalancing. Then I conducted my little drum awakening ceremony in my garden. I walked garden with burning white sage to cleanse the space, and hopefully bring spiritual presence and energy by asking ancestors to support me. I started tapping lightly, had next a little harder. Then I was tapping around the edges, like I was learning changes in depth of sound. Then I switched back to tapping. Then must've gone into a trance as I was then finding myself doing a heart beat sound. Then quietly coming back to one big beat sound. Then I drummed out quietly. I hummed or potentially sighed with the beat.
The drum sounded incredible! At times when visualising the valley, stream and tree - thank you Peter, I think I was seeing the red stag that the skin used to belong to. It felt very strange doing it solo, I've only experienced group drumming, and got into quite a rhythm. Only for a short period to get acquainted. I was a bit zoned out afterwards. It was a bit like a bit like in the Avatar movies when the Navi get acquainted with their banshees and then must seal the bond through their first flight. Detzi later shared, as she promised, Jason Sewell's Just Drumming group. So now I am in the know of this group and activity I will start to attend drumming events when I am able to. Would be good to do some regular group drumming together. Hopefully outdoor drumming under moonlight too, or perhaps I can do solo.
