This blog post is a little different in that its also written by my husband Gary, a joint effort written from both our perspectives. A reflective summary of our wedding day.
Its seven years to the day since we first met in-person, our day, the 4th October and on this date in 2022, we got married! Our venue is The West Mill, at Darley Abbey Mills in Derby. We choose this venue as it has the vintage industrial style we both like and fell in love with it at a friends wedding back in 2018. Our shared vision for the theme, San Junipero, was realised after we first watched the Black Mirror episode back in 2016. Rather than a bleak dystopian future this was an uplifting LGBT+ love story. We knew back then that if we got married this would be the theme! Seeing all the things we had planned for, come to life on the day, from visuals (Gary) to audio (Dan) blew us away. The day was a complete sensory overload, and it really went way beyond our expectations.
Dan - "Happy wedding day eve to us. This time tomorrow we'll be easing into the night, celebrating the rest of our lives together. This was our first pic on our first in-person meet up, back on 4th October 2015. Excited, but overwhelmed by what the day will bring. 🥰👬🏳️🌈"
The wedding morning felt like a kind of Christmas day; that feeling of celebration, family and friends coming together sharing food and having a dance. As we had organised ourselves well we didn't have much to do up until around 10.30am, other than gather our suits and belongings for the day. We were just excited to get there and get it started.
Arrival at venue
On our drive down to the venue we both felt excited but the nerves were kicking in, so we had some good chats about what was about to unfold. As we pulled in to the venue, Dan's mum Vicky, her partner and her mother were already there. Martin and Stu, our best men, arrived shortly afterwards. Martin had the coveted role as the master of ceremonies; announcing each part of the wedding, a role he took very seriously. The Photographers were also already there and were taking photos of the venue and our stationery, as well as the outside river and small woodland area. We had the same photographers as Gary's mum, Lynda, who got married July 2021, as we were impressed by their work.
We unpacked more items out of the car to give to the events manager and when we walked through the doors, we saw all of Gary's wedding stationery and designs, such as the welcome board and neon decorative pieces. The florist had also set up and so the whole venue was now ready for us, we were just blown away by it all, positively overwhelmed! Everything we had been planning for and things we could only imagine, were actually here and it looked and felt incredible! Gary was like a hyper child with excitement!
Getting ready
As the venue is over three floors We went up to the top with the best men to start getting ready in the dressing room. We were chatting, feeling buzzed and calming the nerves all while the photographers were there capturing the moments. Before we got our suits and accessories on they organised them to take pictures of. They were also handy to have on side for advice, when we asked them about how to put cuff links on and the style of tie knot the best men need to have.
Soon the guests started to arrive. Gary had to pop downstairs and he spoke to a few people but quickly came back up in to hiding although he was even more excited and the day felt even more real. Lynda and her husband came up to see us and we had a natter before we gave our wedding day gifts to each other. It was quite funny that we got each other similar gifts. From Dan a white-framed timeline of our milestones, where we: met; travelled; nested; engaged (Gary proposed at the top of Ben Nevis, 1 June 2021); married. Each milestone had a love heart map. From Gary a turquoise wooden dial-type object that says "You are my universe" on the front, and then you turn the dial at the side to reveal key milestones that led up to us getting married. Dan instantly got teary as it allowed him to revisit those times briefly in his head. It was a sweet and deeply touching moment.
We had a walk around the upper part of the venue and started to hear some of the wedding playlist, some classic 80s chillout songs which started with Enya's 'Sail Away'. Dan remembers saying "Gary can you hear music!" It was his time to feel the excitement, and Sail Away is now etched into his mind to transport him back to this day.
The registrar met us to have another 'pre-marriage chat' and walked us through what would happen. She made some lovely comments about us and the wedding flowers and stationery design. She seemed to feel the vibe, saying that it was brilliant and unique, and that some weddings she goes to over does it. After that we summoned up our mums and had a mini rehearsal, the real deal is moments away, we had a quick moment to compose ourselves and Gary helped his future mother in law titivate her hair then we were good to go!
Ceremony
Typing this the feelings are coming back, excitement and anxiousness. Martin had called people up to the ceremony room, the scene was set with 80s chilled music playing and we went to get into position. Gary his Mum and Stu sneaked around to the other room entrance. Dan had a peep through the door to get a glimpse of people arriving and shared a special moment with his mum in the dressing room before they stepped through the doors. He said "this is it, your last son getting married". They hugged and smiled and took a step through the main door. Gary and his mum were waiting on the other side, beaming smiles on their faces.
The piano version of Belinda Carlisle's 'Heaven Is A Place On Earth' started to play, that was Martin and Stuarts cue to start walking followed by us linking arms with our mothers. We started to walk through and I took a glimpse of our guests and Dan was a bit overwhelmed. He put his hand over his face as the emotions just hit, he'd not seen some of our friends and family for a month and now they were all in the room together. Dan said in his speech "It’s not often you get all of your loved ones together in one room, on one day, at the same time." As we met in the middle with our mums they held hands and walked to the front and we got chance for a quick hug and kiss before making our walk to the front. Dan was that teary he daren't look at people but Gary was excited to see everyone.
We stopped at the bottom of the aisle and awaited the ceremony instructions. It was a slight blur at this point for Dan as he part went into serious mode to listen to what had to be repeated - the part he was fretting about. The registrar opened up the ceremony beautifully, and invited Jasmine, Gary's sister, to do the first reading which was cat themed and fit us perfectly. Our friend Jenna was called up to do her reading which is one we chose for her to deliver, on the art of marriage. Next came the 'objections' which thankfully no one did, but we did both turned around to check. Looking at the photographers picture, it looked like we choreographed the moment, as it was a great moment of synchronicity with us turning at the exact moment, mirroring each other. Dan's grandma actually asked if we practiced that - nope! Dan was soon into ultra serious mode as we both then had to repeat the registrar on the formal ceremony 'I do' bits'. We were then passed our custom vows that we both put together. We both thought the registrar was going to read them out to repeat, but we were put on spot when she passed us it to read to one and another but we made those vows to one another which we had wrote ourselves. The guys gave us our rings and we placed them on each other finger, after a bit of confusion of who had what ring. And then the deed was done, the registrar pronounced us as married! Gary will go on to say in his speech "Growing up, I never thought I'd get married" but here we are, the knot is well and truly tied! The registrar went on to say we can now "celebrate our awesome wedding day" so nice she picked that up from our welcome sign and incorporated in, she was so invested in it from beginning. We walked back down the aisle to Starship's 'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now', cheering, clapping and fist pumping! This is one day or life moment that we'd like to relive again and again.
Mr and Mr Scott-PurdyAnd the celebrations begin! We whisked our selves off to dressing room to take a moment for ourselves and take the ceremony in. We got a first serving of our canapés with a bit of fizz to wash them down. We made our way to our guest on the ground floor ready for the confetti walk. We were announced as Mr and Mr Scott-Purdy for the first time and walked through the storm of confetti, the wind whipping it up perfectly. This was fun and the pictures show it, pure love, joy and celebration and getting completely covered in confetti - which Jack, Jasmine's fiancé, later plucked out of our hair. Gary's dad had to be a troll and poor confetti down his back. Thanks for that Alan! Whilst we were outside, the photographers used their drone to capture a great picture of us all together in the courtyard, and a unique birds eye view.
Time for a drink after all that. Along with our best guys, we had made cocktails the day before in massive self-serve jars, there was sex on the beach, pina colada and porn star martini, along with a non-alcoholic elderflower option. These certainly went down well, especially the pina colada. People got rather tipsy and quickly, well they were quite strong. Dan remembers speaking to his gran and saying "how many have you had, not that's a bad thing" her eyes said she had more than a couple. We mingled and worked the room. Scanning around Dan saw his mum in a teary mess talking to two of our friends Jenna and Lorna, she was very proud of her son. More circulating and socialising occurred and we had some formal snaps taken although getting all the tipsy people into position was like herding cats. Photographers then organised us for some pictures with our families.
Dan - "We did it! Mr and Mr Scott-Purdy. 🥰 Literally our happiest and best day ever. It went way beyond our expectations. Thank you everyone for your love, energy and generosity. And thank you Jasmine Purdy for creating the short video capturing the day. Now the processing begins on our mini-moon in Lake District."
Before we had our wedding breakfast, the photographer whisked us both off for some personal pictures around the river and little woodland area. Martin and Stu joined us for the walk before going on to announce for everyone to take a seat for food. As we made our way back in, Martin announced us as Mr and Mr Scott-Purdy - we're starting to like the sound of that now.
As people sat down they realised they had a personal portrait drawn by Gary, each person or couple drawn with an 80's look. These were well-received by everyone and further set the theme and tone as did the amazing background music playing. Dan had another music moment where he said to Gary "can you hear the 80s electronic synth instrumental sounds". It really gave the day such an 80s ambient feel. We tucked into our delicious three-course meal and chatted more to our friends and families.
A moment many look forward to, the speeches! Martin and Stu did a double-act and shared theirs between them. They did such an incredible job of balancing our story with heart and humour, they told some embarrassing stories about us and Gary added some details on the fly. Gary own speech was up next and he's a bit of a natural at giving speeches, he gave his mum away at her wedding and so gave one there. Gary has a way of involving the audience and he did just that, people were interacting with what he was saying and there was such laughter. He even had a good ol' poo story. Dan was last and delivered an emotional one, in my own style (see bottom of this blog post for the full thing). He did a great job, even if he had to stop a few times as he got highly emotional at parts. He expressed his natural vulnerabilities and a bit of cheeky wit. After the speeches our mums came to us. Vicky said how inspirational and unique we are and how proud she is of us both. Quite touching to hear. A nice moment when Val, Gary's dad Alan's wife, came and hugged Dan and said thanks for how comfortable we made her feel.
As some people went to check-in to their rooms, Dan stopped around and got chatting to his friends Mike and Matt. They had a deep conversation about Dan's 'Hold the man' experience and the profound impact it had. After searching for a while Gary then popped up to say he'd been trying to find Dan, as we were called for some pictures up in ceremony room with some creative lighting. They turned out rather nice.
Dancing into the night
We were reminded by Martin to head to the second floor, the bar and lounge, for cake cutting and then our wedding dance. Our two-tier cake was lemon drizzle on the top tier and orange and passionfruit on the bottom. It was decorated in white buttercream and neon pink and blue patterns with a silver accent, made by Dawn Marie Cakes. With additional gluten free cupcakes Gary had one of his hairdressing clients make. We then took to the dancefloor to awkwardly shuffle around, we were dreading it but enjoyed the moment. The song was Years & Years' 'Shine', that transitioned into Belinda Carlisle's 'Heaven Is A Place On Earth'. A custom request that our DJ, Vinyl Sounds (Tim Asher), made and it worked as we got everyone on the dancefloor for Belinda. It was such a great feeling having them join in with us and what an epic song - again embedding the San Junipero vibe. Tim played us an 80s-only set all night, and as we had requested, he emphasised more neon pink and blue lights to his outstanding DJ set up. Dan had a personal mission to dance hard the whole night, and made sure he fulfilled it, he really made the most of the dancefloor and applying his Movement Medicine to the 80s music. He fully let go of any self-doubt and what people thought, to just simply enjoy dancing and be free despite the leg and knee ache in the morning. Dan had a good moment with Fleetwood Mac's 'Seven Wonders', a great bit of expressive dancing with that one. It was so lovely to see our loved ones dance with us. Dan particularly enjoyed a dance to Stan Bush's The Touch with his brother. As many were hitting the vintage-looking photobooth, we headed down and got a few snaps of us with our families and friends wearing the daft items. As our guests began to leave we tried staying up for as long as we could. Gary became tired first and said his goodbyes to the remaining guests and Dan joined about 30 minutes later. That concludes our special day, one that'll be a highlight for us for many years.
Post-wedding and mini-moon
Our immediate family, along with best men, stayed in the venue's gorgeous apartments. The apartments had a large communal kitchen where we all met in the morning to share breakfast. It was so nice to be able to sharing the memories of the day with our family and now official extended family. Dan's grandma went on to say that the wedding was a nice memory to have.
We then had to gather our belongings from the venue and got to packing it into our car. As we approached the car, we noticed balloons inside and lipstick writing on the side windows saying "Just married", and a just married banner on the inside of the rear window. A lovely departing surprise, although Dan wasn't keen on the gold bits inside the balloons that exploded everywhere when popped! The culprits were Martin, Stu and their parents - sneaky sneaky!
When we arrived home, there were more decorations waiting for us , just married banners taped to the door with balloons. The decorations continued inside with more dreaded gold-filled balloons, of which some had already been popped by Theo. On the table were some extra gifts from Martin and Stu - we love you boys! We took some time to chill and opened the cards and gifts from our lovely guests.
Then comes the mini-moon at the Lodore Falls Hotel & Spa near Keswick in Lake District. This was just the vibe we needed, relaxing slow paced getaway, time to focus on each other and wind down after the fast paced day previous. We enjoyed leisurely strolls around Keswick with a few trips to the chocolate shop. We explored the Lodore waterfall and went for a walk up Catbells, not to strenuous but amazing views at the top. We treated ourselves to a six course taster meal at the Forest Side and made the most of our two hours of spa time each day. All in all an amazing trip.
Has anything changed since being married? Not so much, but we both talked about this and do feel there is an increased sense of belongingness to one and another, a type of 'soul contract' that goes beyond paper. And there's also greater sense of confidence (single to married status?) and security between us.
It was such an emotional and happy day because of the love between us, our personal history to celebrating where we are now. A big thing we took from that day is that the love for us both is real, and there was so much of it for us too. It was greatly felt and we've more love and appreciation for each person that was present for us.- Roy S (dad) - "Just want to wish my youngest all the very best today, I hope you and Gary have the most wonderful day"
- Stu and Martin G-W - "All ready for tomorrow's Best Men duties at Daniel & Gary soon-to-be Scott-Purdy's wedding day. Speech done, plans ready, going to be an exciting day 😁 🏳️🌈"
- Stu and Martin G-W - "Brilliant day celebrating the new Mr and Mr! A dream achieved, equality a reality. 🙂 🏳️🌈"
- Jasmine P - "Congratulations to Mr & Mr Scott-Purdy! Beautifully personalised wedding 🥰"
- Dan B - "Hey man! Thank you so much for letting us be a part of your and Danny's day, we absolutely loved it. I feel like it was so special watching how excited you both were to tie the knot! The ceremony, jasmines reading, both of your turbo charged emotional speeches, it was just fantastic honestly. So proud to have been in the room! Everyone we talked to that we didn't know was so friendly and fun, a true testament to how great you both are. I would ask how it feels now the excitement has died down but in all honesty the best part is what comes now for you both! A life together, making more memories! Hope to see you both soon for food and a catch-up! Xx"
- Jenna G - "See you both tomorrow 🥰 get plenty of rest tonight xxx"
- Mike L-C - "Hi chaps. Thank you for a wonderful day yesterday and congratulations again! Have a fabulous mini-moon! X"
- Matt L-C - "Have an amazing honeymoon ❤️ Congratulations, was a wonderful, love filled day ❤️ Absolutely, I'm still buzzing from the speeches, they were amazing!"
- Andy T and James F - "Happy wedding day to Gary Purdy and Daniel Scott💍"
- Craig M - "See both of you tomorrow. Try and get plenty of sleep and ease the mind xx"
- Craig M - "Beautiful day and evening celebrating the wedding of two lovely people x"
- Steve S - "Had a great time, thank you both for inviting me to be part of your special day 😊 You all did brilliantly in ya speeches, well done! Hope to see you both soon."
- Sean J-D- "I'm so happy for you, and I'm sad I wasn't around to celebrate your special day with you xxx"
- Rosie B - "Can't wait!! See you down the aisle 💕"
- Rosie B - "I'm excited for you to finally tie the knot! The best couple! What an amazing day - I bet you're both still on Cloud 9! Thank you so much for letting us share it with you, it was so special. X"
- Amy C - "Happy wedding day to one of my longest friend! I'm so happy you found your person. Congratulations to you both ❤️"
- Sue W - "Wonderful ❤️ congratulations 🎊 xx 😘"
- Chris W - "Have a wonderful day all of you ❤️🍾🥂xxx"
- Chloe S - "Congratulations you pair! 😍😍 Looks like a perfect day xxx"
- Chris G - "Congratulations to you both Dan! wishing you many happy years together. Looks like a really special day 🥰❤️🎉 X"
- Michelle S - "Congratulations - can’t believe little Dan is married 💙🥂🍾xx"
- Craig D - "Huge congratulations to you both guys!!! 🍾🥂🤵♂️🤵♂️🐱💕 Hope your special day was everything you dreamed it would be and more! Loving the 80's neon table arrangements and theme by the way! Very San Junipero!🌴 Hope you're all well and have a fab mini moon! Xx"
- Ryan S - "Congratulations 👏 All the best to you both for the future"
- Jonny H - "Have an amazing time tomorrow! 🥂 💍 ❤️"
- Callum P - "Congratulations guys! Have an absolute blast! Love and luck for the future 🎉💙🎉🤵♂🤵♂XX"
- Christine G - "Thinking of you and Gary this morning Dan... I hope you post lots of pics of your celebration!"
- Darren A - "Awww so beautiful 😍🤩 xxx"
- Clare H - "Awww Absolutely gorgeous!!! huge congratulations"
- Robbie B - "Huge congratulations boys!! Gorgeous photos xx"
- Emma H - "Aww it looks amazing! Congrats guys x"
- Kelly S - "So darn chuffed for you both 🤩🎉"
- Emma C - "Congratulations!! That video got me 🥲 xxx"
- Steve A - "Congratulation both of you, glad you had the best day every x🎂🥂"
- Jane G - "So exciting! Congrats guys. U got this!"
- Claire A - "Have a lovely day/ night 💕 xx"
- Lindsey S - "Have the best day xx"
- Sophia D - "Have a great day 🥰🥂"
- Paula M - "Congratulations hope you have an amazing day xx"
- Fran J - "So exciting..have an amazing day! Really looking forward to celebrating with you both tomorrow evening! Xxx"
- Gemma S - "Aww congrats, have a lovely day ❤️❤️"
- Diane H - "Have a wonderful day lovelies xxxxx❤️❤️❤️"
- Lisa W - "Hope you have a fabulous day and night xx enjoy every moment"
- Rebecca M - "Can't wait to have a dance with the newlyweds! Xx"
- Sandra S - "Hope you have lots of happiness together as me and uncle Roy did❤️"
- Donna T - "Congratulations to you both 💙👨❤️👨💙 xx"
- Mandy M - "Congratulations 🎉🎊🎈 Have a fab day x"
- Jane W - "Have an amazing day ❤️💕 😙 keep calm and take in every moment xxx 🥰😘"
- Jill B - "Congratulations 🥳 wishing you both all the best 💙🎉"
- Katie F - "Congratulations 🥳 have a fabulous day and take in every minute xx"
- Cat B - "Have an amazing day 🙂❤️, I'm so sorry we can't be there, but we can't wait to see the pictures xx"
- Lucy C - "Congratulations to you both have the best day xx"
- Leanne A - "Have a lovely day, congratulations x"
- Carol B - "Congratulations to you both. I hope you have a fabulous day tomorrow. Lots of love 💞💞💞💞💞"
- Alison L - "Congratulations 💕💕💕How wonderful you both look"
- Liz T - "Have a lovely day guys. Congratulations! Xx"
- Anita W - "Congratulations! Have the best day xx"
- Viv M - "Cannot wait. Love Viv Jim Steve Jenna Stacey and Rory xxxxxx"
- Martyn H - "Congratulations 🎈🎊🎉 Both have a great day"
- Karen M - "Enjoy your day boys x"
- Sarah S - "Congratulations! Hope you have a wonderful day 🍾🥂"
- Lainey K - "That's awesome! Congratulations! .. hope you have a fabulous day xx 👬👨❤️👨🍾💒🏳️🌈"
- Gary P - "Congratulations to you both for tomorrow. Best wishes for your future together. X"
- Faye O - "Congratulations to you both 💞 enjoy your special day 🎉xx"
- Helen G - "Have a wonderful day!"
- Dave F - "Congratulations and have a wonderful day 👨❤️👨 x"
- Russ D - "Congratulations to the both of you, have a fantastic day 🥂🍾 xx"
- Andrea R - "What marvellous news 🙂 Congratulations 😍🍾🥂🍾😍"
- Steph C - "Soak up every moment Dan and hope you both have a fabulous day xxx"
- Terry T - "Have a great day guys! 🍾"
- Kelly S - "Congratulations enjoy your day 🎉💕"
- Malcolm M - "Congratulations 🎉 have a wonderful day xx"
- Jackie S - "Congratulations hope you both had a fantastic day"
- Lou M - "Delighted for you both ❤️❤️❤️"
- David N-T - "All the best Dan"
- Vinyl Sounds - DJ Tim Asher 🎧 - Thanks Daniel & Gary, it was so nice to first meet you at the Wedding Fair and then see you both rocking it at The West Mill Exclusive Use Wedding Venue on your big day 🙌🙌 Hope you both have a fantastic marriage together ❤️
- Sons of the Sun brothers:
- Josh - "Blessings to you both ❤️❤️❤️❤️ so much love, thank you for sharing x"
- Thomas - "Wow Amazing Brother, Congratulations on your wedding and bright future in the union! Also your post was really amazing! Looking forward to hear more from you. Viva Life 🐒❤️🔥"
- Adam W - "Viva your life together! 🙏❤️🔥 Best wishes"
- Ka'el - "Congratulations brother! Thank you for sharing these insights into what looks and feels like a beautiful celebration of love and life! ❤🔥🙏🏻 All the best for you, Gary, and your loved ones! 🤍"
- Jay - "Daniel and Gary, many ❤️ congratulations on your wedding! Many Blessings on your union and your life together, filled with every happiness, tons of love and this circle of brotherhood for support in times of need. Kreddi, Jay"
- Ross W - "Beautiful bro! Have a wonderful day! 💗"
EDIT:
- Viv M - "Yay, congratulations on your one month anniversary. Love you guys. Great day xx"
- Jasmine P - "Best day! Such a good read, takes me right back to every little detail 🥰 love you both! X"
- Jenna G - "Want to do it all again 😁🙌💞 xx"
- Dan - "So do we! As guests at our own wedding lol, for a different viewpoint. 😊 x"
- Jayne B (colleague) - "Hi Daniel, Just a quick note to say how much I enjoyed reading about your wedding celebrations on your blog. Wishing you both the very happiest life together."
