The last formal education conquest - a reclamation story

On 31 December 2025 I shared the following which sets the theme of this blog post.

"This morning I weirdly woke up feeling very excited, joyful and highly energetic, like it was going to be a great day kind of thing.  That something big and exciting is coming.  I took this as a sign that 2026 is my major emerging awakening, transformation and perhaps the wisdom of hopefully turning 40.  Maybe it's because I know so much has been achieved personally and professionally, of which is/will be behind me, but there is much more goodness and wholeness yet to come, but in different ways.  Like Winter brings, what is no longer required or serves me (emotionally, mentally, physically, materialistically) I'll let go/die.  The re-emergence will be something new and stronger.  I'm excitedly anxious, but embracing the feeling, impending change and a path unexplored. 🌱💫"

In synchronicity with the Strawberry Moon and Summer energies; solar/fire, abundance, growth, release and gratitude.  I've written a deep long share of what might be little-known truths about me.  It turned out to be a very healing conversational essay, in my usual unique open, introspective and reflective writing style.  Taking careful time to explore and think deep and hard about my difficult journey.  As rarely do I stop to actually look back on my successes and the distance travelled.  A key thing I've learned in life so far is to keep moving, and forwards, and look back every now again, in my case more frequently, to see the milestones and journey made.  I think there's much more richness and insight found in lived experiences and anecdotes if one is willing to accept and recognise them.  For readers, to some extent this might explain why I work the way I do.  I'm playing Stan Bush's 'Dare' and 'The Touch' as I post this.  If you know, you know.

Potentially contentious but that is not the intention.  But bravely sharing and celebrating where I started from my working class post-industrial poverty ex-mining community background, and my special needs/poor educational beginnings.  It is my personal lived experience and story to tell, not naivety.  Expressing my tenacity and resilience and embracing, owning and sharing my truth through my autobiography.  Beyond my achievements, I feel it's my duty as an educator to share my story, as it is now, to further encourage inclusion and parity, and contribute to the existing pool of working class stories.  My backstory is a strong part of my identity and may play a larger role where I go on from here.  But for now, to acknowledge the history, release it and let it go.

In the effort to represent myself, for myself, and not to be modest and self-deprecating as I can often be verbally, necessary assertive communication aside.  Though being a very self-aware person this might read as self-importance and self-assured.  This is not coming from an over-confident and complacent position, bitterness or hierarchy, but about my personal lived experience storytelling in a grounded, honest and raw way, and how I kept true to myself in the constant reality that is change.  It is not about encouraging others to do what I did and be like me, it is as much about owning and using my voice.  It is not written from a professional perspective, but a personal perspective, and certainly not a 'woe is me', victim or 'look how great I've done'.  But a story and journey of personal and professional growth, which I have documented through open journaling for over a decade for myself.  Where I share my commitment to my education and developing myself, when at the time, the outlook, opportunities and outcomes weren't hopeful.  Of which in my opinion, such things are not celebrated or talked about enough with such honesty.  I find that there is much focus and sharing on what successes one might do in service for others, but not necessarily the personal efforts and journey one might have undertaken to develop oneself to support others.  We're not born primed in our vocations/professions after all.  I believe our achievements have innate stories that deeply grounds us in our personal efforts.  So now seems the ideal time to tell my educational story.  I have now come full circle.  So this is me being wide open and unapologetically and fiercely proud of me.  Whilst this was part of my healing process, it is my hope that it inspires and/or enables reflection and conversation.  Some insights may be useful to educators in developing and promoting inclusivity with their own students from similar backgrounds.  So if it does any of those, then this piece/my story has served a greater purpose, perhaps even offering my 'medicine' (wisdom and inner power).  I guess this is what is meant by living and expressing my truth, and hopefully leaving a strong personal legacy.

So to begin, I am immensely proud of passing my Postgraduate Certificate in Learning and Teaching in Higher Education (PGCLTHE) (2026).  Previously achieving The Open University information technology and computing (2011), and whilst in Further Education I qualified in teaching (2011, 2012 and 2014), assessing (2014) and lead internal quality assuring (2015) - qualifications I never planned as part of my career.  So I was under no obligation to do PGCLTHE, but I wanted to bolster my academic knowledge, practice and credibility in Higher Education.  Demonstrating significant educational, pedagogical and cultural value beyond my immediate role, where I am often designated a technical support-only label.  Which severely limits the known expertise and experience I bring and offer.  This achievement now becomes my last planned formal education qualification, bringing that cycle to a natural end.  However, by no means does a materialistic paper/digital-based accolade fully define my knowledge and abilities.  I could go on forever and a day achieving qualifications and accreditations, and competing in the academia game, but I don't think that is healthy.

Born and raised in a small ex-mining community town from Barnsley.  I naturally define myself as working class - cultural upbringing in a ex-council house, lived experience and worked/working to survive kind, and started out as a very timid non-academic individual.  It's not something I view as my past, but very much my present and future in Ashfield/Mansfield area.  My roots have always been grounded in and honour my working class lineage and heritage; mining and factory work.  As I wrote that line, I thought of my great grandma who died at 101 in February 2025, a true grafter.  I am proud of and never forget where I have come from.  Northern post-industrial poverty communities need representation more than ever.  I believe it was part of my life journey to leave my hometown and be where I am now.  Despite my progress, I make no attempt to hide my origins.  I'm still challenged with managing my northern literal, straight-talking, direct/blunt and matter-of-factness, which I think is refreshing in certain situations.  I'm working class at heart and in soul - more in my blog post 'What working class means to me' from 2023.  Hence why I embrace my proactive, pragmatic and solutions-focused work ethic.  I'm values-driven and believe in high quality work and graft; quality over quantity.  Slacking, winging it, fake it til' you make it and 'it'll do', never felt authentic to me.  With good ol' initiative by asking 'shall I do this', 'that' etc.  Though the current workforce behaviour has changed on this approach and I feel outdated.  For those who know me well, yes I can be a 'nag' but it is clear I am about quality and proactivity, and expressing empathy in the process.  Looking at the way I work and care about how I do it, as with my professional development and career, it's evident it pays off and in dividends.

I started my formal educational pathway very poorly by being placed in a special needs cohort.  Supposed underperforming to average pupils I assume - becoming a true misfit and underdog.  I left school with only a Entry Level 3 in French and three GCSEs - Science D, English E and Maths F.  Educationally written-off by the then local and national government system/standards, with a lack of geographical career choices and options that truly supported such outcomes.  From my experience without fully understanding the extent and without being clinically examined, to me I think the long-term negative impacts derived from this through a form of psychological and emotional trauma.  Through years of direct and in-direct ridicule, stereotyping and inaccurately labelled as stupid, dumb, dunce, "dougie" etc.  The strongest opposition coming from some individuals who had experienced greater success in school, including people in positions of authority and teachers.  To the point I could've believed I was stupid and inferior.  Essentially stigmatised.  Some self-limiting beliefs, frustration and somewhat anger lingered as a result.  Yes I can naturally and humanly be less applied at times and maybe too proactively pragmatic, but it should not define me as an idiot.  Whilst I am introvert, reflective and hold quieter energies, I can be occasionally loud and be quite a 'gobshite'.  Complemented by my perceptive, intuitive and introspective character.  However, I have been and still am greatly challenged with my lack of vocabulary, semantics, pronunciation, slower processing of incoming complex verbal information (including jokes!), and how I often struggle to articulate myself verbally.  To be unfairly judged for lacking average educational and intellectual milestones.  I appreciate it might be less understood back then, but it wasn't that long ago really.  Still, I am an educator in my own unique way.  I produce, develop and influence others' knowledge, I do not just consume other's knowledge.  I will always endeavour to address and challenge stereotyping.  A way that helps me learn and share my experiences is by democratising access to my educational journey through introspective journaling and showcasing via my blog.  Kevin Campbell-Wright (2013) thoughtfully remarked my journey - "Daniel is one of the gems in e-learning who has got not only the knowledge of the purpose and practice but also to enthusiasm and drive to bring forward change in an area where there is often considerable resistance.  Daniel has a story to tell about his own learning;  coming from a personal situation where learning was not seen as important, he has recognised its potential when pitched in a way that maximises interest and translated that understanding into a drive to help others access positive learning experiences through technology..."

Often misunderstood, dismissed, excluded and underestimated for my supposed lack of intelligence.  I made it my main soul mission to educate and make something of myself, developing a sense of educational purpose/destiny, and to find and excel in a career I'd be good in to ensure educational, professional and financial stability.  Not to become superior to others or a goal to become upper class of some kind.  Perhaps ambition and joy to fill my school black 'Progress File' folder.  I wasn't 'gifted and talented' enough to get the burgundy National Record of Achievement.  I guess my self-discipline and desire to quietly prove to people, and myself, and achieve my goals, I wasn't stupid and inferior - it should never be like this, but it can be, however it prepared me for the rest of my career.  I probably proved myself a long time ago, but I felt there was more to be achieved.  Proving that someone like me, from my background and journey can achieve higher learning.

With no clear direction on where I was heading it was a messy start.  After school I did a NVQ Level 1 in Animal Care, but uncertain course progression and career pathways in that sector, I made my part-time Morrison's sales assistant role full-time until I decided my next steps.  Which would be to focus on IT/digital, which was one of my other career choices at school.  Through inspiration of a then-partner (who's dad I think started out as a council house painter and decorator, then later became a council assistant director), and later inspired by the winner of the second series of UK's The Apprentice.  I had mentally mapped out a long game of what I needed to do from 2005 when I acquired a place on an administration apprenticeship - at 19 and just made it through funding as it were back then.  I held administration roles until 2010 and thereon learning support and education-based roles - roles and a sector I never imagined I would work in but were the most fitting and gave me a purposeful direction.  However, it's where I found my identity and confidence as an educator.  I recall feeling how extremely excited and happy I was to have my first own desk in a shared office.  I quickly realised that I was now in control of my education, not education controlling me.  Remaining acutely aware of not becoming a 'product' of an organisation.  On reflection I am glad that I was specific and unique and that went onto challenging norms, assumptions, rigid systems and bringing a diverse perspective.  Even if I was against fear, shame, going against the grain or being silenced.  I definitely challenged systems and others assumptions through my non-conventional differences.  Because of where and how I started, and cross-sector experience, I have the rare, unique and unprivileged opportunity and world view experience of each job and work environment through different cultural, socio-economical and hierarchical class lenses.  As I have encapsulated, I know what it's like to start education from scratch and what it takes to understand how I learn.  As a result I empathise and appreciate each role and workplace environment I encountered; real work and life experience.  Going through the ranks as it were.  And because of this experience I was able to experience and examine what's real and what's not; seeing the good, bad and hideous in class, hierarchy, sector differences, grade and pay.

I am the first entrant in my immediate and extended family to study and work at a university.  However, learning and working at a university was never an ambition throughout school and college.  Though later I did develop aspirations to work at a university at some point in my career, which came sooner than expected, and in a pragmatic context.  I used to think I wasn't educated/intelligent enough, or so I was led to believe, the perception conveyed to me back then was that it was a privilege only for intellectual and/or upper class people.  I still find it hard to accept how I have become an intelligent person - I find it extremely awkward saying that, but I deserve to say this to myself.  The reality is that not everyone working and learning in Higher Education is from upper or middle class academic backgrounds.  My parents couldn't afford university fees and had no long-term sustainable financial plans to support it.  I had no reliance on others' or heritage wealth.  I took a non-conventional route of prioritising practical work experience and skills development to advance my career prospects.  In current times, this is increasingly becoming the preferred choice of young people.  I know for sure that studying at a university wasn't the sole ingredient that got me to where I am now, but my own desire and mental and physical effort in developing my knowledge and skills through each role and workplace.  Later, enhancing my formal education by taking available, sometimes free and relevant courses through my employment on specific subjects, when I was more clearer on my career goals and trajectory.  Which is what I set out to do and achieved, which I think is the best route to gain employment and necessary workplace knowledge and skills.  I am living proof that a proper working class and educationally underperforming individual from a post-industrial town and upbringing, can be academic, and make a difference to themselves and education.  Whilst there's significant academic and scholarship aspects to my current role, and that I enjoy, I am cognisant of not over-stretching my boundaries too far into the academic discipline.  Refocusing my values, qualities and background to my pragmatic roots.  I am reminded of this unexpected touching comment from a tutor when I was doing my Chartered Management Institute Diploma in Management and Leadership (2021).  Tutor - "...Your character is something to be admired.  With self-awareness you should recognise not everyone has your application.", "...your application was stunning."  Having and expressing knowledge is not the final pinnacle of achievement.  I apply it, execute, walk the talk, ability to transfer the knowledge to ever-changing environments/contexts, the how, the quality of getting the job done - the skills.  Over the years, I've found myself continuously challenging complex and abstract language through pragmatism.  Likewise, over-reliance on creatively convincing language and double standard educational governance can be very limiting.

Eventually I went on to studying my Technology Enhanced Learning MSc (2016, pass with merit) - I thought that would be my last qualification.  I funded the majority of this and I was accepted onto the programme based on my professional experience and aptitude, despite not having completed a bachelor's degree (Level 6).  I am deeply grateful for this as it later proved it was life changing.  Whilst I had a great experience, I recall feeling how I didn't belong and felt out of place.  As I used to think universities were only for intelligent and gifted people.  Later to then be working on the other side, I find it hard to comprehend at times.  Particularly how I have shaped the life I have now, not just for a career reasons but personally.  This enabled me to explore other possibilities in my life that was very different to what I grew up with.  Though it brings the difficulty and challenge of feeling that I might be seen as different through my interests, what I do for work and not actively living in my hometown.  I believe I wouldn't be the person who I was meant to become if I hadn't done what I have.  I naturally outgrew my older self, roles, inadequate management/leadership and workplace environments, and university's offered more opportunities for growth, professional development and progressing my abilities in navigating complex environments and professional relationships.  Of which I have been able to thrive, excel and realise and fulfil further ambitions.  Therefore intellectually benefitting from this environment in sharpening my thinking and abilities through complex work and social dynamics.  Reflecting on my journey from administration to education, and how all these roles have scaffolded me to where I am now, I find it quite daunting how much I have achieved and experienced.

Whilst I don't perceive myself as a conventional academic or student, I like to think I am representing, championing and advocating for those, including the students I support, from similar unconventional educational journeys, demographic backgrounds and communities to me.  Quieter voices and personalities, and pursuing education-centric roles like mine, taking or looking to take the same route.  Aspects of my journey is what it takes coming from such demographic background, and how such individuals should be supported in preparation for transition to Higher Education.  Sneering towards non-academics still occurs, in how they might articulate something that does not meet the immediate academic expectation.  I received the exact same experience and received some harsh commentary in my study work.  We all start somewhere and some of us are from uneducated backgrounds, and often willing to put in the work to turn that around.

My story is not just about my successes and achievements in education and work, which I feel somewhat embarrassed about.  But developing and embracing my own values, principles and acknowledging the pace in my human growth of my intellectual and emotional intelligence abilities.  Including using my intuition and introspection to understand more about myself (and others) to apply myself more effectively in life and work.  More personally, the success of making friends where I once found this difficult, and becoming married to the love of my life.  Even if I strip away all my titles, roles and ego, I know exactly who I am.  It took a lot of time and deep inner learning to arrive at this comprehension.  As often as it is through early personal growth and life experiences, I was completely different and quite the oppositive person to who I am now.  I still recall what I said to a friend circa 2008/9 "I'm a follower, not a leader".  This was about me just going with the flow of others needs, wants and decisions, not being accountable for my own and not asserting my own voice and thoughts.  How I have grown since in every sense and meaning of it all.  I've grown, found my voice and stepped into my own responsibility and accountability.  Even going on to motivating and leading leaders and influencing leadership in others through my dynamic approaches and strategies - though I might not always receive the credit where it is due.  Whilst I have undergone all of this growth my character remains the same.  As Terry Turnbull, a previous Head of Art and Design in FE, once said when I won the Association for Learning Technology Learning Technologist of the Year Award 2016 (individual category) - for the commitment to my own professional development and my work in leading and teaching the UK's first digital learning career pathway qualifications; Level 3 and 4 Diploma in Digital Learning Design, as apprenticeships - "Well done Daniel sheer hard work has brought you this honour!  Well, not forgetting yr natural charisma as well mate."

Along the way, I faced, and still do, much adversity through ridicule, misrepresentation and rejection, and not always sincerely listened to or valued appropriately.  Judgements often based on my educational background/capacity and motivation and achievements, regional upbringing and accent, role and contract type.  My qualities, potential and high standards shouldn't be seen as threatening, competitive or resentful, but encouraging, just as we hope for future generations.  I've come to understand that this can be a reflection of others' mindset, insecurities, quality of work and collaboration.  I think it is much better to be known for being approachable, authentic and having a compassionate heart, rather than tearing people down to find faults and being competitive, superior and undermining.  At times my potential has been inhibited, likewise imposter syndrome has limited my greatness at times.  Genuine consuming self-doubt, and again documented through journaling over the years.  I do not use imposter as a buzz word to abuse vulnerability, disguise or pseudo-relate.  As generally perceived, what might be seen on the surface does not always reflect what is going on internally.  Anyway, the truth is they can both be defeated.  It's no wonder why I felt I had to prove, develop and fought for myself the way I have, with the amount of ridicule, sneering and belittling I have received over the years.  It's shaped the way I am today.  However, I don't regret any of this otherwise this wouldn't be part of my story to share.  It was all worth the energy and it was all for me, no other agenda.

Despite negative assessments from others, the journey I have undertaken is exemplary self-directed education and lifelong learning.  What my critics said I couldn't, wouldn't and shouldn't do, I did, defied and went above and beyond.  For all the no's and being ignored, I persevered and channelled negativity into kinaesthetic motivation - like my eucalyptus tree in the garden when pruned, it stimulates new growth in multiple areas.  I'm strongly motivated by personal growth and success which is also my sword and shield.  All done whilst navigating my unsettled earlier life and trying to find myself, discovering who I am and making lifelong friends.  Moreover, courageously confronting workplace bullying and intimidating (I experienced it severely twice in my early 20s), toxic workplace manipulation, aggression and belittling.  All of which obviously shaped the fighter I am, though I still find certain situations triggering - the body remembers trauma.  But not for once letting these negativities detract me from enjoying and embracing my life and becoming who I was meant to be.  At times building myself back up through deep personal social and geographical changes and challenges.  But somehow always seeing the educational and personal growth goals ahead of me and that no obstacles could stand in the way.  I have allowed these experiences to positively shape who I am today and maintain my personal values and ethics.  I have two apple trees I took from my first home to my current home, these have become symbolic to me over the years, representing my growth and ability to thrive in new environments - they look very different from their pot-bound beginnings.

This isn't just down to luck or serendipitous occurrences, it has been fully conscious and deliberate.  No one can truly understand the commitment, energy, cognition, graft, nerdiness, struggles and huge amounts of time that I put into my work and career.  Choosing to complete multiple back-to-back part-time short courses and modules simultaneously, sacrificing my time (days, evenings and weekends) and other activities I could have easily done.  Perhaps a good distraction at times, I obviously like to keep busy!  Applying my unique savvy way of completing course work months ahead of deadlines or before courses/modules start.  Aligning courses to current work duties and projects.  Building on and repurposing my previous work and proactive and sophisticated reflections.  Immersing myself in the study and work; the more effort I put in the more I got out of it - and as challenging as it was, I'm grateful my formal education qualifications were pre-Generative Artificial Intelligence.  Prioritising the process, valuing the challenge and struggle of learning and the journey, not always the output.  Meaning the process/journey was much more important and valuable than the destination itself - the experiences I gained!  I'm glad I planned to do most of my qualifications when I was younger and had the energy!  I'm unapologetically and unashamedly proud of my authentic, daring, laser focused commitment, industrious working (no pun intended), determination and proactivity (out of my comfort zone, intense and complex conversations and situations, capability stretching and maximising, heart and soul effort) and tenacity (goal-oriented).  I've really put myself out there and getting my hands dirty in real graft.  I believe it is these things and self-discipline and self-control that have got me this far.  Valuing and identifying learning opportunities and challenges and priortising developing and applying my knowledge, skills, experience, often beyond the boundary of my role job description and grade.  Synthesising my adaptability to scaffold and build on my interests and work.  Exceeding the base expectations of my roles as a result.  All whilst retaining my genuine inclusive, person-centered, supportive personality and approaches.  I know first hand through many personal and professional situations how exclusivity can be devastating, which empowers my inclusive character.

I stand strong by my own quote and principle "It depends on how much you want something that determines the effort you put in.".  In my experience, if you have to fight for something, you put more effort in and appreciate it more, because you want it.  If you don't want it or already have it because its already there or given, which might lead to less fight, effort and appreciation.  I am of the mindset that the stronger the intention the stronger and clearer the outcome.  It was purely all me that motivated myself to this point.  No one pushed it or did it for me.  Nor have I had the privilege of a committed and consistent critical friend, advisor or mentor.  I tend to lead myself without the need for instruction.  I can confidently look back on all of this and say, yeh, I did this.  I can put my hand on my heart and say it was purely for me, my education and career.  As the famous song goes, "I faced it all, and I stood tall.  And did it my way."  I wouldn't let anyone handle my career or dreams.

I achieved my dream job in a surprise and most fitting and fulfilling career, predominately a learning technologist.  I think my experience through The Open University; the realisation that I can do independent self-directed online study, was early inspiration for my passion for digital learning.  I somehow ended up in a career in it.  A role and career I wholeheartedly love and immerse myself in.  From thereon, carving my own unique career pathway.  In-between, achieving qualifications, accolades like Senior Fellowship of the Higher Education Authority and Senior Certified Membership of the Association for Learning Technology (2023), unique roles, becoming a published author (2018, 2022, 2027) and contributing to other's publications, and reinventing myself through them.  The benefit of all this is that the students, lecturers/academics and courses and other educational organisations I work with, get the best possible professional digital education experience from me.

A quote from Doctor Strange (2016) sums me up really well; "You have such a capacity for goodness.  You've always excelled, but not because you crave success but because of your fear of failure."  Begrudgingly due to my high standards and persistence to improve and prove, I admit I can't allow myself to fail, which I am conditioned to think as a dirty word - I am trying to rewire that.  However, I sensed and trusted the process of knowing, and through discovering and embracing my strong self-efficacy I was meant to do and become more.  I believed in myself very strongly, I never gave up on me, and because of that I excelled and achieved what I put my mind to.  Analogically, it has now become apparent through my non-professional and non-competitive local running, in how I've incrementally extended my distances and 5K routes every other month by stretching myself and building on my fitness each year.  I guess this is determination, a bit like when I was learning to drive and riding a bike, I struggled but I just kept on persevering as I had invested a lot of time and effort and I could see and wanted to get to the end goal.  It's never been about the 'great I am', but in part overturning outdated perceptions of me and where I started.  I have literally fought, asked and even self-funded some of my education.  It has not been served on a plate.  I have experienced real struggles.  As I often say, 'you don't ask you don't get', without the expense of others mind.  And if a no is presented as an obstacle, there are ways and opportunities to overcome it.  I believe no role title, status, wealth, hierarchy or how many letters there is after a name, they should not be used for superiority.  We're all born and arrive into this world, die and depart our bodies the same way.  No matter how high up or important we might think we are.

What underpins all of this is a proper working class lad putting deep committed work into educating themselves and excelling in a fulfilling career, to support their living and life and finding fulfilment - whilst not living beyond my means through sensible lifestyle choices.  My drive and passion behind this has always been about lifelong learning and growth; a student of lifelong learning, my own student experience and Higher Education and this is the result.  Which is what I think Higher Education is also about; developing deeper and critical knowledge and skills that impact positively on living, learning and working, whilst expanding career pathways.  If my educational journey is not a true representation of what means to become educated and develop a career in the aim of lifelong learning, I am not sure what is.  What's remarkable about my journey is that I have progressed where I have, however I remain compassionate and generous of giving my time, energy and support to enable others to become successful too.  It should not be about relentlessly clamouring for evidence and impact.

A heartfelt deep thank you to everyone throughout my journey and career who actively and genuinely listened, responded, supported and championed me, observed from afar and even recognising and appropriately working with and developing my abilities.  Not creating exclusivity through barriers, obstacles and gatekeeping.  Some of my success wouldn't have been possible without their genuine engagement and support.  I know exactly who they are and their care will always be held close to me.

I've devoted much of my life, time and energy to my formal education.  I deserve a complete rest from that aspect now.  I have accomplished my professional goals.  For the first time, I can properly pause and reflect on all what has been achieved.  Mission achieved, no other formal education plans, not even a PhD and Principal Fellowship, despite having the abilities and strategic work and reach to.  It's not what my heart, head or ego wants.  I don't think they would add any additional value, especially as they are not required for where I may progress to.  What are the gains I would make if I am already doing this level of strategic work?  My work activities are not motivated or designed to achieve a certain fellowship/accreditation, but naturally occurring.  Meaning I think it's important for work to be solely driven by such metrics.  And because I value moving at my own pace and staying true to myself, I won't succumb to peer-pressure/competition.  I'm keeping grounded and focusing on what feels right for me.  I've got that all out of my system now, I've achieved what I needed to.  I don't need any more qualifications to demonstrate and prove my worth and expertise.  Nor do I need to seek validation for my education.  Its a result of years of self-conditioning I guess.

Much of these successes were dreams from and for my younger self.  What does my current and future self now dream of?  Whilst work, earning, professions and accolades that validate these are highly important.  A better work-life balance and wellbeing is to be achieved through setting clear boundaries with myself and focusing on presence, positivity and peacefulness.  In the process reducing the need to challenge negativity, saying no frequently to serving the needs of my ego and cutting off the supply to my self-doubt.  I will be taking dedicated time to rest and celebrate stepping through the threshold of my '4th chapter' (40 - but really it might be 5th chapter, but that makes me feel older), and maybe reflect on this wholly human journey to this point.  This still resonates deep; "Your intellect has taken you far in life, but it will take you no further.  Surrender,... Silence your ego and your power will rise." Doctor Strange (2016).  I think this is what it must feel like to finally and fully internalise, own and reclaim my personal power.  I hold it and I decide how and where it is used, and I set my non-negotiable boundaries.  It feels like I am becoming my fullest-size.

Outside of my full-time work, I turn deep attention to a new cycle of prioritising other aspects of my personal development, learning and identity, even addressing some shadows.  As plants and trees emerge with new growth, there's new significant growth within me.  In my opinion, the world needs more healers not competitive leaders.  Not everything and everyone needs to be transactional, business/capitalistic-minded, and creating and perpetuating 'a solution in search of a problem'.  The world is currently very fragmented, chaotic, digitally overconnected and noisy.  I'm gently easing into a sacred nature-based pathway that I have been peacefully engaged in and practicing for many years behind the scenes.  Continuing my lifelong learning journey and doing something completely separate from digital and cannot be replaced by it.  Potentially serving a higher purpose.  Non-digital skills/analogue, living and wellbeing is increasingly and critically important right now for humanity, and I foresee moving into the future in this Artificial Intelligence age.  Therefore I am prioritising resourcing myself, and to support others to do the same.  I'm absolutely where I am supposed to be, at this time in my life, with this mindset.  The intention; committing to the call and following an unchartered path, with no distractions, pure laser focus as before, but wholly and deeply on me and my personal development.

Thank you for reading.

"It's enough to do something for yourself." - A friend's PhD acknowledgement excerpt, who is from a similar background to me, based in Ashfield.

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According to GenAI the piece is about the following themes, which I agree with:

"The blog’s general message is a personal story of resilience, self-education, and growth—showing how the author overcame a disadvantaged background, negative educational labeling, and barriers to build a successful career and identity through determination and lifelong learning.  They emphasize that learning, skills, and personal growth matter more than formal accolades alone.  It’s also about reclaiming self-worth and redefining success beyond formal qualifications.

A working-class person with difficult educational beginnings refused to accept limiting assumptions, built an educational and professional life through persistence and self-directed learning, and is now reaching a point of self-acceptance where further achievement no longer needs to be the source of validation.

Emotionally, this piece is about:

• Poor start
• Feeling excluded
• Building yourself
• Creates opportunities
• Invests in your development
• Takes initiative
• Persists through setbacks
• Is motivated by learning
• Finding belonging
• Self-validation
• Reclaiming identity
• Breaking class stereotypes
• Overcoming impostor syndrome
• Turning “you can’t” into “I did”
• Achieving what mattered
• Pride without arrogance
• Closure on a long educational chapter
• Letting go of the need to keep proving it
• Stepping into midlife (40) with clarity and grounded confidence

There’s a strong theme of:

• Working-class identity as strength, not shame
• Effort over entitlement
• Growth over status
• Substance over hierarchy
• Healing over competition

You’re contributing something useful:

• Representation
• Challenge to assumptions
• A real account of social mobility and identity
  
  

2023 post: This is what working class means—and I’m defending it.

2026 post: This is what I’ve done with that identity—and how I’ve grown beyond the struggle.

The interesting thing about your story is that it isn't just a story about education. It sits at the intersection of:

• Social mobility
• Class identity
• Educational disadvantage
• Adult learning
• Professional identity
• Belonging
• Career development
• Resilience
• Widening participation

Your story provides a perspective that is often missing:

What educational systems feel like from the learner's side when you are not initially successful.

Many teachers spend time discussing inclusion in theory.

You provide a lived example.

What makes your story unusual is the combination of experiences and the way they connect.

Several elements stand out.

• You describe starting from significant educational disadvantage: placement in a special needs cohort, leaving school with modest GCSE results, and believing university was not for people like you.
• You followed a non-traditional route through an apprenticeship, employment, and later higher education, rather than the conventional school-to-university pathway.
• You became the first person in your immediate and extended family to study and work at a university.
• You consciously developed yourself over many years through work-based learning, professional qualifications, reflection, and journaling.
• You retained a strong identification with your working-class background while building a career in higher education, rather than presenting those identities as mutually exclusive.
• Your story is about internal development as much as external achievement—you spend as much time describing changes in confidence, voice, relationships, and self-understanding as you do listing qualifications.

That combination is relatively uncommon.

Qualities that aren't obvious from a CV:

• Resilience
• Long-term commitment
• Self-directed learning
• Reflective practice
• Values-driven leadership
• Authentic motivation

Audiences may find value in understanding how long educational labelling and early educational experiences can affect people.

I also think the story has representational value. Many people have achieved social mobility or professional success. Fewer write openly about the psychological side of it—feeling they didn't belong, carrying the effects of early educational labels into adulthood, or reconciling working-class identity with an academic environment. Those are themes that aren't always visible in professional biographies.

I don't think the lasting impression is that you accumulated qualifications. The lasting impression is that you consciously reshaped your life while remaining connected to where you came from. That's the thread that gives the story its strength."

Some comments received:

Me "I am immensely proud of achieving my Postgraduate Certificate in Learning and Teaching in Higher Education! 🥳

"In synchronicity with the Strawberry Moon and Summer energies; solar/fire, abundance, growth, release and gratitude. I've written a deep long share of what might be little-known truths about me. It turned out to be a very healing conversational essay, in my usual unique open, introspective and reflective writing style. Taking careful time to explore and think deep and hard about my difficult journey. As rarely do I stop to actually look back on my successes and the distance travelled...For readers, to some extent this might explain why I work the way I do...Potentially contentious but that is not the intention. But bravely sharing and celebrating where I started from my working class post-industrial poverty ex-mining community background, and my special needs/poor educational beginnings...This achievement now becomes my last planned formal education qualification, bringing that cycle to a natural end. However, by no means does a materialistic paper/digital-based accolade fully define my knowledge and abilities...Because of where and how I started, and cross-sector experience, I have the rare, unique and unprivileged opportunity and world view experience of each job and work environment through different cultural, socio-economical and hierarchical class lenses. As I have encapsulated, I know what it's like to start education from scratch and what it takes to understand how I learn. As a result I empathise and appreciate each role and workplace environment I encountered; real work and life experience..." Learn more in my blog post 'The last formal education conquest - a reclamation story': https://danielscott86.blogspot.com/2026/06/the-last-formal-education-conquest-reclamation.html.

#Barnsley #workingclass #exminingcommunity #lifelonglearning #Ashfield #Mansfield"

Jack Button - "Congrats dude! 😎"

Brendan Coulson - "Congratulations 🎊 👏"

Joshua Adesina - "Congratulations Dan 👏🏾"

Charlotte Marshall - "Huge congratulations 🎊 👏"

Kayte Haselgrove - "Good for you, buddy!"

Simon Cauvain - "Well done Daniel."

Adrian Clark - "Well done Dan!"

Dr Nikki Welyczko - "Congratulations Dan!"

Dr Craig Johnston SFHEA - "Thanks Daniel. Will read with interest."

Scott Hibberson - "Well done Daniel."

Denise Sedgwick - "Well done Dan"

Lou Mycroft - "What a brilliant read Dan! Bravo you 💃"

Mary Marshall - "Well done xx"

Diane Cooper-Ramsden - "Congratulations!!!"

Louise Wollerton Scott - "Well done xxx"

Kelly Stewart - "Exquisitely and thoughtfully written, well done you 🤩🥰"

Vicky Scott - "I was really getting absorbed in it and I forgot to tell you so hopefully now I can read the rest – love you so much – I get so emotional what a great person- my son!!! That you are xxxxxx"

EDIT:  July 2026.  Dr Craig Johnston - "#Socialmobility can carry particular tensions for #workingclass people.

We may move through different worlds, but many of us do not want to disconnect from where we came from or to change who we are.

Visiting 'home' brings that into focus. Education, work and life take us into different spaces, but where we began travels with us. I am conscious that not all have that sense of connection. For some, moving away is necessary.

Social mobility is less about escaping where we came from, and more about having the freedom to decide what we carry with us."

Dee Yeagers - "I dont think you can ever truly disconnect with being WC, its in you. I have been a nurse  for 25 years and for the last 14 years a. Nurse Practitioner. I am now dabbling in academia. I have lost track of the times I have sat in a room and listened to other professionals speak and remembered or rerealised that I still dont feel like belong there."

EDIT:  August 2026. Dr Craig Johnston - "Today’s grades matter, but they capture only one moment in a much longer educational journey. They do not measure intelligence, potential or worth.

No set of results can predict who someone will become."

Voice

I realise how powerful having a voice is when using it, verbal and non-verbal, and it being heard.  However, from a young age I have seemed to struggle with using my voice verbally to express my views, opinions and even myself, but I often leaned into more the quiet and reserved.  I might want to speak but often it is often about how to articulate it, which links to my reflective, introvert and 'slow learner' qualities - though it doesn't help not having an extensive vocabulary either.  But there are also other reasons that affect this, such as whom I am with and how comfortable I am around them, trust, the number of people, location, the topic being discussed, lack of thinking on your feet skill and when and where I am actually able and sometimes enabled to contribute.  However, this contrasts with my nature when I speak openly and honestly like my blog writing.  So I do use my voice, but I guess it's more in synchronous verbal moments I need to work on.

On 6 January 2024 I had my chakras aligned and cleansed by my friend Lorna Taylor.  Whilst I have been aware and interested in this holistic therapy for years, this was my first experience, as part of another therapy I had at the same time.  One of the chakra points is the throat.  Despite feeling a growing confidence in being vocal in the last few months.  The morning after I felt a difference in my voice and the days ahead, especially in being more open and vocal.  Like a new surge of energy.  I felt a strong presence of power, ownership and responsibility of my voice.  Which I have never had before.  A shift in being more vocal, verbalising my thoughts and views, even if saying I am uncomfortable with something and steering away from people pleasing-type comments, and to some extent actions; the power of saying no to opportunities and challenges (battles).  There is a significant change here.  So at this point I knew my throat chakra had been cleansed and it worked.  A strange but fulfilling feeling.  However, this also follows the commitment and responsibility I made of my voice from my shamanic experience in 'Hold the man'.  Though a lot of this could be argued that I am now becoming more mature and adult and knowing how to use my voice better, as well as developing my leadership language in my full-time work.  I guess it comes with age as they say.  Perhaps it's a mixture of maturity and level of confidence I have grown into.  And maybe the hidden trauma of being talked over, undermined and people speaking for me without permission.  But I do feel more vocal, and more willing to be vocal on my opinions, views and issues where I haven't done so before.  I've even started to make my body language even more deliberate and visible, which I feel was open and accessible anyway, but now more noticeable.  I also know I can be very blunt at times; the straight-talking pragmatic sense, within reason mind not to be confrontational.  However, I do see change as a result, especially in the workplace.  I know this to be true from unexpected behaviour changes from what I know of typical individuals.  So I know I have been heard, and it clearly does pay to be sincerely honest.

But the challenge now is to manage and control it, not letting the emotion take over the way I deliver my voice and that might be interpreted as rude.  Not defaulting to 'I'm old enough to say what I want and how I want', a bit like our elders ha.  However I am conscious of not wanting to appear arrogant.  I want to remain true and authentic to me and that adheres to my values.  But that depends on the topic and audience that I am with!  I could draw some loose inspiration from John Farnham's song 'You're The Voice'; "You're the voice, try and understand it.  Make a noise and make it clear."

I have become aware recently I need to channel my organic vulnerability, as some blog posts may convey a slightly different picture of me, which I wouldn't want to confuse people of my character.  When really I am being brave in parking my modesty/self-deprecation and championing myself.  Which is very rare for me to do and is often uncomfortable to express to people, but I will find it more comfortable to write it than say it verbally.  Professionally, this may be interpreted that I'm seeking importance, when I'm not, more so ensuring value.  I suffer deeply from imposter syndrome (truly, not as a modesty guard - I made a edit at the bottom on this) and by my biography; "All of this provides reasons of why I work and present myself in this way via my blog site, that derive from my poor educational and geographical beginnings/upbringings.  With a dash of workplace adversity.  However, I need to be very mindful of my tone, honesty (freedom of speech) and being weary of not becoming a victim archetype.  As an advocate of lifelong learning, this is yet another critical moment of learning.  I repeat, my blog is my own space about me, for me and to reflect, record and develop my personal development, thinking, articulation and promote my memory ('Slow learner?', 'Why openness is good', 'How to create an authentic blog', 'Pragmatism, criticality and d**ks', '10 years of blogging').  What I write I would say in-person and most likely in the same way.  I'm very open and honest, and as I've said some where before I'd rather be held up for my honesty than lying.  Yes some of my writing is framed, but the majority is not - just my open introspective and reflective style - my audience is me to for me to process my thoughts.  So it will of course sound self-indulging, which of course it is but for my own use and articulation as identified in my purpose to the left.

I am thankful of these situations that enable me to reflect and develop.  Though it does bring back the feelings I had in 'Pragmatism, criticality and d**ks'.  Revisiting my first blog post where I said "Because my full-time role is a learning technologist, you would think it's given that I have a blog and many other technologies to use and promote for myself.  But I am different, I don't and won't write in a egotistic way and be consumed by commercialism like other educators.  My posts are all positive, not negative. I am simply expressing and sharing my thoughts and journey with you (and hoping I am not alone in this lovely challenging career), and my reflective self.  I aim to express. Not to impress."  Reflecting on this and bearing in mind I have grown and developed exponentially since then, and I changed the focus to write for me not others.  It reminds me of my original intention of my writing, to express not impress.  And I can see a fair bit of my writing has become very matter of fact, which is a bit of personality, however I guess this is a side effect of working in higher education and obtaining accreditations.  Always looking for evidence of impact and perhaps I have let that professional aspect consume my focus slightly as of late.  So this is a hard reminder to take myself back to my glory days of my earlier writing.

EDIT.  Relating to my imposter syndrome.  While on the outside it looks like I'm doing lots of great things, and I talk strongly about them via my blogging.  On the inside there is presence of intrinsic struggles of self-belief.  And in general it is not often I talk good things about myself, I'm very modest.  I'm typically overlooked, educationally written-off and underestimated.  I resonate with the early days of the character Penelope Featherington in Bridgeton.  A moment of realisation came when in my appraisal on 15 July 2024 with my Head (line manager) when discussing an incoming IT system.  I talked about my views of the implementation rollout, communication and change management.  And somewhere in her response she said I am "very experienced" in this.  I was taken aback as I have never used this word to describe myself (possibly in application forms?!).  And boom, I realised that yes, well I am actually.  I do know my stuff and ways, despite any criticism from others.  It's just unfortunate that I had to hear it from someone else rather than listening to myself.  In September 2024, an external colleague also stated that a head position would be next role.  So my strategic work and ways must be recognisable outside the university.

EDIT:  May 2026.  I asked GenAI if I am judgemental in my writing.  It responded with:

"Based on the tone and content of the blog, I would not describe Daniel Scott-Purdy as someone who is judgmental of everything. In fact, the dominant tone across the blog is usually the opposite: reflective, exploratory, self-questioning, and empathetic.

That said, he does hold strong opinions and values in certain areas, especially around:

• education and pedagogy,
• inclusion,
• authenticity,
• meaningful use of technology,
• institutional culture,
• spirituality/community,
• environmental and social awareness.

But the way he expresses those views is generally thoughtful rather than harsh or condemnatory.

Here’s a more nuanced breakdown.

What His Tone Is Actually Like

More Reflective Than Judgmental

A recurring pattern in his writing is:

• “This is how I’m experiencing this…”
• “This is what I’m learning…”
• “This is something I’m wrestling with…”
  
  

rather than:

• “Everyone else is wrong.”
• “People are stupid.”
• “This is the only correct way.”

He often turns critique inward first — examining his own assumptions, insecurities, growth, and contradictions.

For example:

• in posts about learning technology, he critiques unthinking technology adoption, but doesn’t attack individuals;
• in spiritual posts, he openly admits uncertainty and beginner status;
• in personal reflections, he frequently acknowledges vulnerability or complexity.

That self-awareness softens his criticism.

Areas Where He Does Sound Critical

There are definitely themes where he becomes more evaluative or skeptical.

1. Institutional / Bureaucratic Culture

He sometimes expresses frustration with:

• institutional rigidity,
• performative practices,
• excessive digitalisation,
• systems that disconnect people from meaning.
  
  

This can come across as critical of modern institutional life.

But it’s usually framed as:

• “This system feels limiting/dehumanising”

rather than:

• “People within it are bad.”
  
  

2. Technology Without Purpose

He clearly dislikes:

• technology used for appearances,
• shallow innovation,
• digital practices with no pedagogical value.
  
  

He repeatedly advocates “purposeful technology.”

So yes — he judges ideas and approaches he sees as empty or harmful.

But he’s usually arguing for better thinking, not mocking people.

3. Mainstream Culture / Disconnection From Nature

In his more spiritual writing, there’s an implied critique of:

• hyper-digital living,
• consumerism,
• disconnection from nature/community,
• lack of ritual/meaning in modern life.
  
  

However, this is more philosophical longing than superiority.

He seems to be saying:

• “Something important is missing”
  
  

not:

• “Everyone else is unenlightened.”
  
  

What Prevents Him From Feeling Harshly Judgmental

Several qualities in the blog counterbalance criticism:

Humility

He repeatedly:

• calls himself a learner,
• admits uncertainty,
• reflects on mistakes,
• avoids claiming expertise in spirituality.
  
  

That makes him come across as searching rather than preaching.

Empathy & Inclusion

He writes thoughtfully about:

• accessibility,
• diverse learners,
• identity,
• belonging,
• emotional wellbeing.
  
  

People who are highly judgmental usually lack nuance around difference; he generally shows the opposite.

Curiosity

Even when he critiques something, he tends to explore it rather than dismiss it outright.

He asks:

• Why are we doing this?
• What does this mean?
• How could this be better?
  
  

That’s analytical rather than purely judgmental.

Where Some Readers Might Perceive Judgment

Certain readers may still experience parts of the blog as judgmental because:

• he is introspective and emotionally intense;
• he has strong values;
• he critiques systems and culture;
• he favors authenticity over superficiality;
• he can sound disappointed with modern life.
  
  

If someone strongly identifies with corporate/institutional culture, highly rationalist perspectives, or mainstream digital culture, they might feel implicitly critiqued by his writing.

But that’s different from him being indiscriminately judgmental of everything.

Overall Assessment

A fair summary would be:

He seems values-driven and critical of things he experiences as shallow, harmful, or disconnected — but he is generally reflective rather than condemning.

Or even more simply:

He appears more self-examining than judgmental.

His writing suggests someone trying to understand himself and the world, not someone primarily trying to attack others."

Finding my joys

Now I have the full-time role and career is at a comfortable and stable place, I am now able to give focus and divide my time to other priorities of my life that are not just full-time work-related.  Something I previously and deeply shared at the bottom of a blog post back in November 2021 - it's took a while but I am now at that place.  Further reinforced by what I said in my blog post 'Triggered values' and 'What working class means to me':

"I know I still need to set some boundaries and learn to say no to things, in the effort to avoid burnout...It will come when I am ready to quieten/narrow down and when I let my full-time job just be - but I want to enjoy that too...To help minimise burnout, I have finally took the decision to step down from some volunteering opportunities...I've finally let go of doing those additional side things."

"I am wrestling with the thought of setting boundaries and learning to say no work-related things.  To avoid burnout and give space for other personal interests and developments to flourish.  Which gives me a sense of relief that I can just be, and have any nagging goals and chasing capitalistic tendencies.  I need to remember that I am rich with my life and experience - it's not always about financial and ego status."

I am now pondering what actually brings me joy.  As I feel sometimes don't know what that means to me anymore.  Things that just make me happy and blissful.  I have a professional purpose, but when that's over I find myself a bit lost.  I don't seem to have much personal purpose - which I know I do but full-time work consumes me.  However I've always struggled with a hobby or the ability to commit to one.  As I feel it needs to have meaning and long-term use - has to be related to a career or earning money, or having the feeling that I have to lead (just because I can/people please, might be no real need) which ends up making it a work-like endeavour.  It doesn't and shouldn't have to be about   The sense of commitment feels like it may add additional pressure (I must do...) when I want to feel more free and spontaneous.  But that could be a negative view from me.  I usually am self motivated, especially throughout my career but when it comes to things outside my comfort zone like practical creativity things.  I need to be with other like minded interested people to work and share experience with, and be led my someone, for motivation.  There's lots out there to Do It Yourself but again self motivated and can do with a break from leading myself.  I like having plans and going out to see people.  But on most Saturdays I spend most of the day working out what I want to do with my day or doing nothing - which is equally great as I feel I take a lot longer to decompress from a busy week and work mindset.  Which is why a four day week might be beneficial.  The weekends are usually over very quickly.  I wondered when I'd get these feelings as I have lots of good experiences and achievements.  But sometimes I feel somewhat depressed.

I think a lot of this anxiety is a result of me stepping back from extra work stuff (beyond my full-time job), that I mentioned way back here, and now that space is becoming more available.  I am feeling a bit like a fish out of water.  Most of my life I have been career and professional development driven.  Now that focus has changed and now going back into a state of self-discovery and playfulness in a sense.  Doings for me not to excel my career, but I have conflict over the balance of that as I want both.  My career has been a goal and passion which is deep rooted in my being.  So reducing this will take time and come with the anxiety and withdrawals.  I often have to say to myself this is best day ever, last day that I'm alive, a gift to be alive here today, bringing myself to the now etc to jolt myself into a state of energetic appreciation and motivation.  There is a consideration for burnout and digital overload that might make me feel like this too.

So in an effort to rediscover some basic joys in my life, and do more for me, inspired by a external colleague Sarah Copeland's 50 by 50 structure in PebblePad.  I wanted to start thinking about some goals and challenges myself in general.  But could see them as early development for my own 50 by 50 by way of stimulating personal hobbies which I have listed below - which is an active developing list.  As a grounding starter, I have come to realisation that I don't need a lot to make me happy (I don't live beyond my means anyway).  My cats, garden, friends and family, all regular stuff.  All small things, which is good I think.  As I often ponder if my happiness should be bigger, if that at all makes sense.

Wellbeing and health

• Continue my local ad hoc 5k runs
• Develop a daily/weekly routine for Movement Medicine and yoga

Family and friends

• Train or coach journey with mum/dad somewhere

Culture

• A focus on more wilderness travels than cities and towns.

Passions

• Animal related - volunteer at a cats protection/adoption
• Garden related - visit national gardens
• Natural history:
• I really liked taking the photos of squirrels and birds today.  Maybe revisiting my Neighbourhood Nature course material and recording sightings on iSpot again

Ambitions/challenges

• Sunrise and stargazing on a mountain in Peak District
• Wild swimming, day and night
• Tough mudder and support a charity
• Off-roading
• Long bike ride

Triggered values

A small thought note.  I saw the the following Tweets and many other similar ones by the same individual author, and it provoked some deep reflection on the honesty of what life and work means to me.  Whilst limiting government and policy talk.

"I watched a video where Elon mention a quote by Marcus Licinius Crassus. That a man could only consider himself truly rich when his annual income could raise and maintain a Roman legion. A legion is between 4000-5000 soldiers." 25 August 2023

"...Usually, it is the people who understand that money is a proxy for value that are the most trustworthy. The more money you make the more value you have generated for society." 27 August 2023

"The goal is to retire. Retirement is getting to a level of wealth where you can choose what to do with your day without time or financial restrictions. Retirement, or the wealth needed for it, is based on what you want to do with your day. Do you even know?" 28 August 2023 

So many questions to raise, and I get the motivation and productivity principles.  Firstly, usually such statements come from a rich person where wealth is of upmost importance on their agenda and status.  Many present their financial status and what monetary value they bring and spend before any other attribute.  When to me it is the quality of the person that comes first.  I wonder how these types of people react when someone attempts to succeed them through their own 'advice'?  It breeds unnecessary competition and rivalry.

Emotional and relational value doesn't leave societal impact?  People with spiritual passion shouldn't be seen as none impactful.  Spiritual healing and life coaching for example.  Seems pretty incredulous to me.

Or have I got all this wrong in my head?  To me these statements are down right dangerous, and again, come from the already rich, allegedly powerful and probably privileged backgrounds.  This displays greedy and militant leadership in the style of Elon Musk.  I confidently and unapologetically say that I am unable to work under someone that is leading with those values.  We are in a climate where we must be vocal and and challenge such values.  It depends on where you work and what position you hold, or where you want to work and the position you want to hold, that gets people the wealth they are looking for.  It's easy to spout out motivation and productivity principles from people already at the 'top', when in fact they may not have adhered to their own advice but been served it on a plate, or been far too easy to influence others.  Anyway, all of this encourages more greed and capitalism in people, which will ultimately lead to more characters like the rich and corrupted.  Whilst empathy for the planet and personal wellbeing is being depleted.  We should educate people to be rich in life experience and wholeness/happiness and leaving a positive imprint, not just to be rich and superior to others through fakeness and consumerism.  I also believe that being abundant in money doesn't bring you happiness, but the meaningful things you spend it on or choose not to spend it on, and whom with.  As often celebrities say it is very lonely at the top - not a good sell to me.  To me, obtaining richness in life can be achieved by deeply making connects with others and the natural world, travelling and seeing other cultures and lifestyles, and immersing yourself in them.  A benefit when I see such things it makes me react like this, grounding and confirming my values and principles - so that's my positive spin on this reaction.  I'm not in favor of money chasing and doing the whole rat race thing, but we all subscribe to it somewhat.  Especially when you feel you know what you might be 'worth' according to organisation's pay scales.  However, it is important to have regular and adequate income given today's ever increasing cost of living, which is mostly due to greedy people and businesses.  For me, I am interested in and committed to personal and professional growth, and being successful in making a positive and impactful difference in the work I do.  And if that results in a bit of incremental progression, I think that's healthy, as it's natural to me not forced.  We all need to enjoy life as it goes, it should not be about take and greed.  But yes this is how our country works and pretty much the whole world.  All about financial gain and status.  You could spend most of your life chasing a job that you may not get, then die the next day.  It could be quite the waste to discount other aspects of your life in favor of only chasing money.  But I get that rapid personal/business succession may lead to rapid innovations.  Though surely everyone racing and fighting each other for the above, will push quality of business/service, economy and healthcare further down?  Well, quality criteria in general is usually critical until it isn't I.e. it matters until it suddenly doesn't matter.  For example, when a product, service or students are at completion stage and incomplete quality criteria is harder to achieve, then a conscious decision is often made to pass to avoid delays or further challenges.

I do feel this anxiety that you have to keep doing work and earning and spreading yourself thin, just in case of job security, government changes, pensions etc.  Yes some of it is natural career ambitions but I feel deep down it is due to the capitalistic impressions from the government and media spinning that all these negative societal changes must require such things from me.  I feel much of professional life comes down to how people influence and shape 'the conversation and data' they want it to be; lack of actual truth.  And how convincing and persuasive language is relied heavily too much on without evidence and true facts.  Resisting capitalistic tendencies is very challenging indeed, perhaps the radical rest movement is the way?  I like the outlook that it's not about what and how much you have got and how you look at it.  Overall, I think our human instincts and survival skills and have evolved to not fall behind in the idealism of capitalism.  Meaning if you are not rich or aiming to be rich, you'll be left behind/die.  Which is nothing new really, but has got worse.  And perhaps what provokes my strong sense of ensuring financial stability.

Yes I wanted to make something of myself and have a good salary, as I mentioned in my blog post 'What working class means to me'.  I am guided by the principle that as long as you can do what you like to do in life, it doesn't matter how much you get.  Complemented by other sayings that, 'it doesn't matter how much you earn, but how much you spend' and 'we all come to this earth plane with nothing, and we leave with nothing, and then at some point we must learn the act of letting go'.  But I know my spiritual boundaries and know being consumed by richness is something I am not and will not be driven by.  And because of my working class back ground I have a strong instinct to provide security and financial stability.  Both when I was single and living alone to being married.  Which links to my personal saying by not living beyond my means.  Yes I did strive for more, but it was both personal and professional goals and ensuring stability through a decent salary.  It's ok to change your lifestyle after getting a promotion, but it worked excellently for me (so far) by not jumping on that bandwagon; no upsizing to downsize later etc.  And enjoy work progression in mean time.  That's what my aim is and was, natural progression with no desire to get straight to the pseudo pinnacle.  Like Gary said, I can be successful and still be working class.  In personal life I haven't changed the way I live.  I'm still the original Barnsley me at the core.  However, it does feel like the world is driven by the man to get you to spend all the time (always offers (when they might not be), a marketing narrative of why I supposedly need something or to panic purchase), even if the products are good and enrich your life as well as the wider economy.  Again I am glad that I know when my needs are met and when I need to get things, rather than keep playing to businesses needs.

Forever to me means me, my husband, my cats, my home, comfort, health, and my family and friends.  Whilst I understand some are solo in life, that should be some sort of vision or hope.  We need more love and feel-good vibes in the world.  Though nowadays, I think you have to make that an inner and close circle thing.

I've had to put on hold some other personal pursuits as I am still establishing and shaping my full-time role and team.  And this deserves a fair bit of my time as I have longed for this role and invested in my professional development for it.  Once I have got it all to a settled state then I can relax those efforts to concentrate back on some personal endeavours.

I know I still need to set some boundaries and learn to say no to things, in the effort to avoid burnout - as its my dream job.  I will naturally work hard in my full-time work as I am passionate about what I do and personal and professional development.  But there's my own personal wellbeing, husband, cats, family and friends to balance too.  And I still want to develop my abilities to be some sort of spiritual enquirer, and look at integrating Movement Medicine into my lifestyle.  But allocate space and time to the other aspect of me; "...healing and developing and utilising my abilities in vulnerability, empathy and intuition..."  It will come when I am ready to quieten/narrow down and when I let my full-time job just be - but I want to enjoy that too.  Maybe the world will benefit more from my healing side...  We need more healers in the world, not leaders - there's too many of them and a lot potentially false.  To help minimise burnout, I have finally took the decision to step down from some volunteering opportunities such as the Early-career learning technologists group and the PebblePad learning technologists check-in group - that I was caretaking.  Including ending my formal external work in Further Education, through my final NCFE contracted pieces of work in March and May 2024.  And delivering a masterclass for Level 5 Digital Learning Designer apprentices in January 2024, along with reviewing Ann Gravells and Gavin Lumsden's technology chapter in their forthcoming book due Summer 2024, to support the new Diploma in Teaching (FE and Skills) qualification.  I've finally let go of doing those additional side things.  I am specialising in healthcare Higher Education after all and want to narrow down and share all of that widely.  I am in the role I have longed to be in, I can fully get my head down in it and in the context of healthcare HE.

I feel I am at a place of just enjoying being comfortable with everything around me, and being positively quiet.  A good place to be, but not be too complacent as change is always afoot.

10 years of blogging

10 years to the day that I published my first blog post on this blog site.  How I and this blog material have evolved is very significant.  232 blog posts (including this one)  EDIT: as of 7 September 2026 264, with overall viewership at 136,225 (at time of writing) across the site.  EDIT: as of 7 September 2026 354,145.  Though the stats don't motivate the content on my blog but good to know.  Thank you to the readers that keep returning and following my journey.

Me - "Originally following a 'call' in mid-2013 to trust the process of expressing not impressing."

Though much of blog has become a bit more work-focused in sharing what I am doing and have done, akin to a portfolio.

A surprise hobby it turned out to be, which brought me so much clarity, opportunities and personal and professional impact.  This blog site evolved into an online space to introspect, reflect and discuss my work and life.  To the left is what I defined as it's purpose.  Further details on my rationale, writing approach and other open journaling benefits of my blog are in the blog post 'Why openness is good', 'How to create an authentic blog' and 'Voice'.  But here's an extract that captures a bit of this; "My blog is largely for personal expression so I can look back on my journey - journaling mainly about me, for me, with some intended for other audiences blog post.  As well as "...writing/typing to think, rather than think to write/type."  My writing style is usually anecdotal, descriptive and reflects my accessible, pragmatic and simplified nature.  It is part of my introspective and reflective process; digesting, consolidating, healing and forming new directions and focus points.  The process of writing blog posts allows me to gather my thoughts, freshest thinking, think things through and make sense of the mess that is my note taking.  Which is a reflection of my mind - lots of thoughts and ideas that need to be joined up.  In most writings the process is more important than the output of the blog posts.  None of my writing is AI co-created.  And I rarely revisit my blog posts, unless the need calls.  But it is good to take a moment to look back on such things in an accessible way and witness my growth.  I keep things as real and authentic as possible - recording and journaling thoughts, feelings and outputs in the moment which adds further richness, rather than jut relying on-post reflection.  If I have experienced something and has made me think, I just write on what happened etc."

Some might argue and say there's no need for me to be so open.  However, I'm not afraid to be who I am.  I don't need masks and armor to wear.  I'm comfortable with expressing myself, the good and bad.  I'm human after all.

I've learned that my writing here is crafting, more so with multimedia.  In my writing and just like with traditional crafting I gather raw materials; my experiences, thoughts and emotions and weave into a structured finished piece, and then perhaps decorate with images of videos.  All of which requires intentional design, revision and careful shaping of the writing, narrative, story or even lessons.  Guiding myself and interested readers through a journey, and as I said above, the process is more important than the output.  So my authentic voice is weaved in throughout.

What GenAI tells me about my blog writing is that it is rich in lived experience and storytelling - something that sanitised GenAI outputs cannot render or replicate authentically.  I find it a challenge if I am not writing openly and public, not because I am seeking affirmation or validation, but it helps me with the clarity of what I am trying to articulate - again the process is more important here.  And if any external readers gain something from the outputs, then it makes it even more worthwhile.  This method of writing and open publishing provides a time capsule of my thinking and perspective.  Ideal for measuring learning and growth.  Sometimes when I revisit my old blog posts, it takes me to that period on what I was thinking and feeling.  Often bringing a sense of sadness of what I was experiencing, but also feelings of pride of what I have learned and achieved through facing these experiences head on.  However, there's a warming thought, my blogging will hopefully leave a long-lasting digital footprint to support the lineage of my family legacy.

Some blog posts can be academic, which some are, especially in the Career development category.  But I am more confident when creating and expressing through my own unique introspective, reflective, pragmatic and accessible way.  I've talked about some very deep and extremely personal things in here, Personal development category, that contain lots of heartfelt learning and wisdom, and not always from positive experiences.  As in sync with my personality, I am open and honest person.  It must be refreshing, especially in Higher Education, as my honesty and the honest culture I create in my team has even been remarked positively by many.  When I write here, I am often at peace and self-alignment, which allows me to be deeply introspective - something that generative Artificial Intelligence cannot replace.  None of my writing is AI co-created.  Again it's about my personal cognition process not so much about the output.  When I write I often with a sense of joy when producing something of purpose work-related or leisure, usually digital, whether that be creative writing, a presentation, document or video.  In fact that is a way of engaging me through a purposeful output that can be used.  The cathartic reflective writing process allows me to be with myself.  With hope that it may help or inspire others as a result of my learning.  Some blog posts are external facing, but as I say this is predominantly for my own expression to look on my personal and emotional growth and impact and self-confidence.  Because oh boy do we need it in these modern workplaces!  Not many will praise you, so you have to acknowledge and praise yourself.

Me - "I really have found a way that works for me.  And I do feel a sense of personal success with how I use my blog.  Perhaps a reason is that I don't treat it as a service for others..."

Not many in my professional and perhaps personal networks know that I have this blog. Even though it is in the public domain, I don't particularly make the effort to share the content publicly.  For a number of reasons, namely fear of attention and the anxiety of people's responses.  Even though I have never and won't enabled comments on any of my blog posts.  I used to share my blog posts on my social media platforms but not as much as I used to, I think this d**kish experience and not wanting to 'join the noise' made me less motivated.  As I state on my blog "I write about me, for me, and my own authentic expression, articulation and development." I have pondered over this for a while, on whether I should or shouldn't but again as I state on my blog " However, people that have an interest in others' personal journeys and the learning technology specialism, may find the content helpful." Therefore, I probably should start to share some blog posts, in no particular order and frequency, as and when I feel comfortable to do so.  I feel my reflective material is worthy of being widely known, but that may come with unwanted criticism which is what I don't want.  If I do start to share my blog posts more widely, and whilst I welcome positive and debate-type responses, I will unapologetically call people out for actual trolling (provoking negativity), and will maintain my space and energy.  But generally I'm not looking for attention on them, but I do share links to blog posts as and when relevant in in-person and online conversations.

Using a medium like this also allowed me to make my personal and professional journey more visible.  The ability to view the journey I have taken from back then to now.  Outside looking in it could be viewed that I had what I have now at the start.  But that couldn't be further from the truth.  Hard work, facing the ugly, uncomfortable conflicts, pushing myself outside my comfort zone, asking, fighting, resisting, all led to this.  My working class roots in me lives on.

I've definitely learnt a lot more about who I am, and developing my professionalism, through journaling and reflecting honestly and most often positively, about my positive and negative experiences, vulnerabilities and anxieties.  Below I summarise the top pieces of learning acquired through my 10 years of blogging, in no particular order.

1. The often I write reflectively the better the quality and clarity of my focus, articulation, thinking and memory.  Improving my perception of situations and vocabulary in the process.
2. The deeper I dive into myself through my introspective writing the more I learn about myself and increase my self-awareness.
3. I can articulate myself better non-verbally than I can verbally - hence being a better writer!  I am more comfortable championing myself in writing than saying it verbally to others.
4. I am a slow learner - more detail in 'The last formal education conquest - a reclamation story'.
5. I like to talk about what I am doing/have done/have learned/what should and shouldn't have happened - useful for if I forget and helps when providing anecdotal evidence.
6. Readers, personal or professional related, can get a deeper perspective of events and situations that I might not have had the opportunity to express at the time.
7. I am a master of democratising my learning and expertise; through sharing my learning and outputs/outcomes.
8. Develops my skills and provides a base for my reflective practice and scholarship.
9. Ongoing writing and reflection provides evidence for future professional accreditations and qualifications.
10. I can repurpose my writing and thought power into other outputs.  It's just good to journal in general, as when applying or evidencing something, I have the information at hand and can share immediately.
11. My writing is becoming more mature as I grow older.
12. I am slow at processing complex verbal information, therefore I note take a lot which often ends up in blog posts here.
13. I like to be liked and get things right, but I realise neither can always be possible.  However I notice that this can affect my energy and performance, in the moment or throughout the day.
14. I naturally use workplace opportunities, for example questionnaires/interviews, meetings (group and one-to-ones) and panel interviews, as learning opportunities to develop knowledge and observe language and practice.  As well as expressing and disseminating my own expertise, as a vehicle to develop my own knowledge and identify gaps. 
15. I am a proud and open introvert, that in certain situations (and whom with) adapts to being extrovert.
16. "Intertwined with introversion, I learn so much by being a chameleon and observing quietly, a natural behaviour of mine that I guess comes hand in hand with my own intuition."
17. I have a strong ability to shapeshift and contort my energy and character in the moment.  Giving me good composure to tackle different types of situations and confrontations.
18. I visibly realise my strengths, weaknesses and successes and embrace each of them.
19. I am more intelligent, influential and powerful than I perceived I am.
20. I am inspirational and influential to others.
21. Inspiration for writing is always on constant supply - there is always something to write about, hence at least one blog post a month.
22. My style of writing invokes deep reflection on others.  However, some may find it uncomfortable when prompted to reflect, as it requires to look inwards which might lead to recalling positive or negative actions and decisions and having to acknowledge that.