Thursday 2 August 2018

Slow learner?

This blog post arrives after much insecurity about how I generally learn and respond to learning or communication.  As much as this may be a surprise (or not), I feel this is true of me.  A lot of it depends on how interested and attentive I am to the situation.  However, I'm sure the people that I socialise and work with and even lived with will have most likely experienced this in some shape or form!  A subtle sign is that I don't get jokes instantly.  Unless it's stupid silly and crude.  I'm a living conundrum.  As Gary once said I'm both stupid and intelligent. 😲 I think I am generally 'dim' in nature as I often don't put my mind to anything substantial.  But when I do that's when I do have great outcomes and may surprise people - a dark horse.  However, I am a big believer in that knowledge is specific - which is where my expertise is embedded.  Not general knowledge that hangs on mainly memory of broad and often meaningless key events.  But how can I be both stupid and intelligent?  Well education and intelligence are two different things.  Perhaps it all draws back to some of my earlier experiences and under educated start to life.  I do realise that one thing from my poor education beginnings is that I lack vocabulary and grammar - though I remain a good speller!  I am not creative enough with the words I chose in the moment.  Resulting in me not being to verbally articulate and choose the right words effectively.  I'm still learning and developing my literacy as I go along in my personal and professional life.  Maybe I shouldn't analyse myself in this way but we are all different, you don't get the same person twice.  Not even twins have the same spirit and personality.  I don't think there's no perfect human being.  If you do happen to know a perfect person, what criteria, lenses or circumstances are you judging them on?  I realise I somewhat dim in nature at times, but that is just my character - I wouldn't be any fun otherwise!  I feel a lot of this is due to my brain thinking way ahead than my body can react.  My body then tries to catch up with my brain's decisions, leaving my body tripping up over itself?!  However, I do appear to be in my own little world at times - I ponder a fair bit.


Being a 'slow learner' doesn't mean I am less productive or incompetent, as I am fast at being productive than understanding - it just takes a bit more time for me to process, especially in-person incoming complex information.  Whilst I might be 'slow' in some ways, however I'm a proactive doer.  I'm pragmatic, that's what I have always been about, it just comes natural.  If I have something to do or needs doing, I get on with it and get it done - I see things through to the finish.  I don't do half jobs - I'm very meticulous!  I'm also a strong visual learner.  Meaning that I need visual cues to help me understand, as well imagining images when developing my understanding.  Moreover, as part of learning and projects I like to produce something tangible - I'm quite materialistic like that.  I like to see a real and usable thing by the end of the efforts.  Or at the very least, what I have spent my time and resources on!  Some may be more satisfied with just contributing to conversations like thought leadership.

It may take me a few times to go around things (repetition) until I fully understand something.  And whilst thinking on my feet is doable I don't think that is always to great effect.  In my opinion a slow learner is just as powerful as a fast learner.  Slow learners (in my context) take more time to understand detail, environments and situations whilst fast learners may jump in without fully understanding all angles.  They are of which both pros and cons to these, as with everything.  It's down to where these abilities are used and for the right purpose.  Just like applying for a job really.  The employer will review your application or CV and assess the suitability of your knowledge, skills and experience against the the job role specification.

In saying all of this though, I am quick to react to feedback and I'm very diligent in the process of responding to it.  I find that I am quick at learning when I know what I want to learn.  Like I am quick to learn and adapt when it's more career/professional related stuff.  Perhaps I feel I have more control over it?  It must be, because I wouldn't be successful otherwise.  Plus, I lived in and managed my first house on my own for 6 years!  I think self-awareness and emotional intelligence speaks volumes here, I do feel and sense more than in linear logical ways.  This is why recognising our own learning patterns is important as it helps us to determine the best ways we can understand and carry out things to the best of our abilities, and what we are comfortable in doing.  I think a lot of it comes down to active listening and communication and how we interpret this, which is probably the use of language and what we are used to?  Or is it purely just down to priorities and personal agendas of what we want to hear and do and discounting everything else?  I guess that's another discussion in itself!

My conclusion on this small incoherent rambling - work with and build on your strengths.  Just because you aren't particularly good at one thing doesn't mean your not got at anything else or even at all.  When watching Game of Thrones, I was hung up on this quote (not the scene for obvious reasons) which pretty much sums up how I am.

"I'm a slow learner, it's true.  But I learn." - Sansa Stark, Game of Thrones.

And that there, says it all, "I learn". 👍

EDIT:

In June 2021, my fiancé sent me the following image below from r/2meirl4meirl on Reddit - hit the nail on the head literally.  It's like my intelligence struggles to express and articulate itself through the vessel that is my body and fails.  This is how I feel the majority of the time and do think there is strong links to introversion and asynchronicity here.  Especially as I am more a reflector and evaluator and dislike being put on the spot.  I need to remember that I am intelligent and that I express it in my own unique ways (more so emotional intelligence), whether that goes against forced or conventional norms.  But I do respond better when I am present and in the company of positive and encouraging energies and in safe environments.  Gabor Maté says; “We don’t learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on our experience”.  Whilst I think we can learn from experience, e.g. as basic as burn yourself on a hot ring.  I strongly believe in this statement as we can learn more deeply when we reflect and look inwards.


In October 2023 I saw this pin badge image on X, that has a gold designed battery shape, with 7 emoji type faces starting from a sad face evolving to a happy face, with red to green background colours.  Representing a person's social battery.  I thought I really want this - a game changer I think.  A lot of my mental and physical energy is governed by social energy.  And this helps me convey that to others.